In a couple of days Pam and I will celebrate our 42nd anniversary, though the word celebrate may be too strong, as we typically just acknowledge the day in passing. That’s not to say it is not an important day in our lives. It is. It just means that we are somewhat past the point of celebrating anything. It also turns out that we are being traditionally appropriate this time.
Being appropriate is a very rare thing for me, as I am never intentionally appropriate. I am consistently inner directed. I am unapologetically me. I like what I like. I do what I do. I wear what I wear. Heck, I still watch network TV, and my favorite zip up hoodie is threadbare at the elbows and is fraying at the ends of the sleeves. I claim it is comfortable. Pam says it’s disgusting. I’m sure she is right, but I can’t bring myself to admit it. Every now and then I could be considered appropriate, but it is a coincidence, not a planned act.
Pam, on the other hand, loves to be current. She loves to be appropriate. She is always reading the newspaper looking for trending things to eat, to do, to listen to, to watch. I love that aspect of her, as it pushes me to be more mainstream.
So as I approached our 42nd anniversary with nothing planned, I decided to research the traditional 42nd anniversary gifts. I wanted to know what I should be doing, even if I most likely would not be doing it. I was shocked to learn that I should be doing just about nothing. Wow, I thought, “I am good at that.” It turns out that there is no traditional gift, meaning, color or name to signify the event. The best tradition has to say is that, “The couple must be doing something right.” Geez, what a backhanded way of looking at it. A way that I thought was pretty appropriate.
All was not lost, though, as the 42nd anniversary does have a traditional stone. It’s called the Jasper stone, a type of stone I have never heard of. Once I looked it up, I understood why I had never heard of it. Apparently, is is an impure form of silica, riddled with a bunch of minerals, including iron, which gives it its red hue.
I was nonplussed by the Jasper stone’s composition and color. It looked like an almond to me. But then I dug deeper and was pleased to learn the true meaning of the Jasper stone. It is said to be nurturing and bring wellness through times of stress. It is also said that it provides protection, absorbs negative energy, promotes feelings of peace, relaxation and security, and balances the yin and the yang. Oh my!
Once I did my research, I was intrigued. I decided I should get Pam a Jasper stone for our anniversary. I mean, it is traditional. It turned out that it was not only traditional, but it was darn cheap, something else I found endearing about it. So I ordered one. Thanks to Amazon, it should be here before the big day. It is not wearable, though it could be carried in a pocket. It is not pretty, though it could be caressed. It is not extravagant, though it is thoughtful.
I was pretty shocked with myself. I was acting traditionally, with intention. Dang. Could this be the start of a new habit? Thankfully, my research was not done. It turns out that doing a home improvement project is thought to be a pretty traditional 42nd anniversary gift. Pam and I have a couple of big-ticket improvements to make. We have been procrastinating due to supply chain issues and general malaise, but we recently decided it was time to move forward again, without any realization that they were traditional anniversary gifts to each other. I was stoked, as that thought sunk in because I didn’t have to worry too much about becoming intentionally appropriate.
Happy Anniversary, Dear.